.::still blinking::.

20 days.

The energy has worn out. I am so tired and there is nothing to do. Which, being translated, means there is nothing I want to do.

Wee man and I have been coloring and cutting out super heroes and villains all day. I tore myself away from that to go to the library. Even with what feels like an extra hour in the day, I feeling so tired and getting nothing new done.

The to-do list has not changed to much and I am quickly running out of clothes that fit. My new favorites are a pair of jj’s pajama pants. Big and comfy. I can’t imagine even when I loose 8 pounds of baby, that I will want to wear anything but big comfy pants.

However, the bassinet is set up in my room. Wee man and I practice wrapping babies in blankets. A friend gave us a few infant diapers, and I told Wee Man they were for him. He looked at them and looked at me like I am crazy. We held it up to him to see if it would fit. Nope. They are so tiny though. I cannot imagine that any butt will ever fit in those things. They are so small.

Also, we bought the Ultimate Malem and it is working. Like we have had 4 dry nights since it arrived, 3 in a row. It scares Wee Man pretty bad and he cries every time it goes off, but can you believe it is working. Also we have been going in and waking him up around midnight (which never worked before) and than he sleeps until about 7-9 without wetting. I am so proud. We are going to keep it up until we are sure he can go the night without and accident, but seriously. This is a gift from the Gods. I hope to be buying diapers for only one child. But we are going on 5 years of diaper buying. The earth thanks us.

And that was all a bunch of random nothingness with no point.

20 days.

We went to a family get together for my father’s side of the family on Sunday. JJ willingly came along. This is what he does for me, he supports all my decisions. Be they hair-brained or not.

He has been so patient through the pregnancy. He gave up sleeping in our bed a while ago, and has been on the couch. Not that we don’t like each other, we do. But that I struggle to sleep lately and toss and turn all night. Along with the 95 bathroom breaks and the toilet training through the night of the wee man, it leads to me watching lots of Hulu and just being up in general. He sleeps better on the couch and I just don’t sleep, but he lets me have the bed anyway.

This year has been a tough one. There has been lots of impatience on my part as I struggle through the pregnancy and the realization that my body is aging and changing. He has done nothing but try to make things good for me and the wee man. He has lightened my load and made me feel better about myself.

He has incredible inner strength and courage. He is quiet. But he has quietly made me a better wife and mother. He is the strength I need when I have none left.

He is well loved. By me and by all those who really know him. Including Spiderman and one-armed lego man.

love you babe

The nesting has hit. I am cleaning EVERYWHERE.

Because I know you are curious, here is what I found under my bed. Egads!

1. half a toy barn
2. three craft supply bins
3. 1 aerobic step
4. 8 pound weights
5. 5 pound weights
6. 2 pound weights
7. weighted exercise jump rope
8. yellow exercise band
9. smaller purple exercise band
10. small red snack cup
11. paper cut by Gentry
12. one receipt for 2 shirts for Gentry at Kohl’s
13. two Kleenexes
14. one toilet paper roll
15. orange easter egg
16. bags of beads for making candy corn necklaces
17. the book of mormon
18. red pipe cleaner
19. clear snack cup
20. elmo’s world toy camera
21. a receipt to SmileWide Dental Care (we heart dr. thornell)
22. two tinker toys
23. a paper camel
24. plant life stencil
25. hippo card
26. legos
27. a ticket to The Statue of Liberty National Monument and Ellis Island
28. a bin with throw blankets
29. a paper stamped by Gentry
30. one tiny blue pompom
31. an old navy tag
32. more paper cut by Gentry
33. a sticky note sketched on by JJ
34. a movie ticket to ponyo
35. more tissues and a couple cotton balls
36. readers digest
37. a tiny hair clippy
38. all the photos from my college class photo 1010
39. a paper cow
40. two child safety outlet covers
41. a penny and a quarter
42. a whole lot of fuzz

Holy cow! I guess it is not as bad as I thought. A little revealing though.

:: donuts from beyond glaze :: peanut butter chocolate is divine ::

:: drawing portraits with Gentry ::

:: this is me with long hair, not antenna ::

:: g with a mohawk and starbelly sneach belly ::

:: cleaner house :: shiny sinks ::

:: glee :: fringe :: bones :: biggest loser ::

:: boneless buffalo wings from Applebee’s :: carside to go is a good friend ::

:: bras that fit ::

:: ice :: i am low on iron ::

:: Halloween inspiration ::

:: Gentry learning cute new things at school ::

:: feeling good again ::

:: eating food from the garden and from others gardens ::

:: finding away to protect my tummy from more stretch marks :: hope it works ::

:: roar of a snore :: max’s words ::

:: jj’s new haircut ::

:: trips away with the cute boy and my cute mommie to visit Aunt DeeDee ::

:: lots of tea sampling ::

:: lazy days and Idaho sunsets ::

:: Aunt DeeDee’s magical house :: Gentry wanted to stay for 3 weeks ::

:: Gentry sleeping with Optimus Prime every night ::

:: 2 baby quilts made and 1 on the way ::

:: supporting a friend in terrible times ::

:: considering the post baby uniform ::

:: Gentry’s love of cuddling in the morning :: i hope he never grows out of it ::

:: a fridge full of groceries :: being able to cook without gagging ::

:: jj wanting to feel the baby kick ::

Yesterday in Relief Society, the lesson was about charity. About how when we are judging people we are not full of charity. All I could think of is how nice JJ is to me. Always.

I have turned into a hissing, fierce momma cat who is pretty willing to tell most everyone what I think of them. And poor JJ has taken the brunt of this. I wake up in the morning in a punching mood and he usually takes a couple hits. Not literally.

And instead of saying things like, “Woman, you are nuts. I am leaving you here to sulk and punch holes in the wall.” He says, “I am sorry I bug you all the time.” All day long. Everyday. Instead of getting mad at me and making me feel crazy, which I know I am. He is so kind to me.

He doesn’t take offense. He doesn’t hold a grudge. He just loves me and tells me so. I guess he knows how hard this is for me. He just loves me. No matter how crazed I am that day.

I heard this song today. It really sums it up.

:: healthy baby girl ::

:: having enough brain power to come up with activities :: old mcdonalds farm ::

:: having a pool so near ::

:: lots of little friends to play with ::

:: swim lessons to help a little guy loose the fear of water :: finding a life jacket that floats and is esthetically pleasing ::

:: carnivals :: parades :: fairs ::

:: learning to ride a bike :: fast ::

stinky feet

Isn’t that the cutest little twisted foot?

We went to Logan to be with JJ’s family for the 4th. It was really fun to see everyone. I did a lot of nothing and it was nice.

On the 4th we went the Hyrum City Parade in the morning and than the Cruise In in Logan in the evening. The Cruise In is where old cars parade up and down the main street. It is really fun, JJ’s grandpa and dad show us the cars they used to own.

Cousin Lily

This is Gentry’s cousin Lily. They look related to each other. Me and Gentry, not so much.

animal imitations

Gentry got bored so we did relays of different things. Crawl like a crocodile. Roll like a tumble weed. Hop like a bunny.

cute boy

nothing productive done here

This is all I did. And sleep. I loved it. Click here to see the rest of the photos.

Yesterday I was mad because my body has to be sliced and diced to get babies here and for me to be able to recover. I am still kind of mad. And I don’t want any of you to take this personally, but I get really mad when people have perfect pregnancies, deliver with minimal pain, have no ripping and than have a huge swooning of love for their baby. Probably because this is not how it happens for me, and I hate that it could be that way. I hate the way things have transpired for me, and I keep thinking, “If only…”

So today in honor of taking my mind somewhere else, I give you other peoples videos of Disneyland vacations.

I am already planning the next vacation. I am thinking next March. Anyone want to come and meet us there?

Videos here, here, and here.