:: wanting some of these sweet dulce brownies ::
:: my accountant laughing at my dumb jokes and being the bad guy when needed so I don’t have to ::
:: this book ::
:: friends and family taking care of things at home so I can leave home with JJ ::
:: cute old Titanic-esque hotels ::
:: crazy rockstar parties ::
:: several other things I will talk about later when I don’t have to blog from my phone ::
Waiting with a prayer in my heart, and constantly fighting back tears, for the arrival of a new little girl to join our ranks.
I wish I was there, and am sending my positive thoughts to you and your new addition.
The car we drive is the car I bought when JJ refused to commit his life to buying a car before we got married. Which really threw a wrench in our relationship. He has a hard time with deciding on, well, anything. And I get sick of making all the decisions. So I eventually got sick of following him around looking at cars he was not going to buy and went and bought the first one the dude showed me. Yeah, I am easy. I did not even negotiate. I just took it, used tires and all. It has been a good car though. We have only had to replace wear and tear stuff.
At the time I bought my car, JJ was driving a child-molester-mobile (JJ has never molested children, nor do either of us condone such actions) and I just was not ok with that being our mode of transportation. Hence the ugly blue Camry we drive now. The really good thing about it, is that we have not made a car payment the entire time we have lived in this house, that is a nice feeling.
It is nearing 14 years old and has dull streaks down the hood and rust bubbles near the window, the breaks will not stop screaming and last night during the rain storm it dripped on me as we drove home from a friends. That is the thing that made the car unbearable, I cannot face the winter with a car that is constantly dripping rust spit on me.
So we are on the lookout for a new (to us) car. Since we are cheap, and have no real vanity when it comes to cars we are keeping it cheap, hoping we can pay it off quickly.
Sigh. I hate big purchases.
I love the simple pattern of a zucchini cut open. Yes this is a zucchini, a yellow zucchini. It kind of reminds me of those old fisher price record players with the notches on the records. I made this for dinner. It was so good, even though I forgot the beans and almonds. And yes, that is the kind of stuff I have on hand around here. The tomatoes and zucchinis came from my garden.
This is what my days have been looking like lately. All finances and catching up. I am getting on top of it though. Thank goodness for accountants and friends who know accounting. To bad I failed accounting in college. This should make a little sense since I had to take it twice. Oh well. Shortly I should be back on top of my finances.
I am all for being a good sport, but if this is what my competitors looked like while performing I think I would have to make fun. I definitely would want my Olympic moment to look like that, and I would want all of my friends to see me this way. Poor divers. Those are truly memorable moments.
Oh and this was just nice to look at. Your welcome. It kind of reminded me of all the advertisements in Las Vegas, except they are not wearing coyboy hats and looking coyly at me while really trying to keep their desire for the guy next to them at bay.
:: him ::
:: friends volunteer work in an African orphanage :: their bringing hope ::
:: moments when Gentry listens and understands ::
:: JJ bringing me healthy snacks at night ::
:: finding out good news from lots of different sources ::
:: impending birthday parties ::
:: evening walks with friends :: making friends with Gentry’s preschool teacher ::
:: gaining clarity ::
:: hope ::
I couldn’t sleep last night, my mom said maybe it is menopause. I could only be that lucky.
I woke up and couldn’t sleep. So I went downstairs and watched a movie on the laptop. I thought I could hear Gentry up in his room playing, or something, and went and sat in his room for a while. He wasn’t and I couldn’t hear it anymore. I guess the house was just settling.
Eventually I fell asleep again around 5, but my alarm started going off at 6. So really no sleep, and the tired is just starting to kick in. I am so tired I am reminded of college all nighters. The ones where you are so tired to kind of feel like throwing up. Do you get that? Just weird throat tired feelings.
Sigh.
I didn’t even have any diet coke yesterday. I don’t know what could have kept me up unless it was pecan pie, which I did eat late. But to my knowledge there are no stimulants in pie. Right?
The other day Gentry went to bed with his toy table saw and drill. He was up for about 2 hours after we put him to bed. JJ eventually went in and asked him what he was doing, he replied, “Building a table.”
Yesterday was so frustrating at church. As mentioned previously JJ and I teach the 14-18 year old Sunday School class. Now I know these are good kids. No one is pregnant or doing drugs, to my knowledge. (Now as I re-read that I don’t really think that doing those things makes them bad kids. Even if they were doing those things I would still love them and feel compassion for them.) But they were so disrespectful to JJ yesterday as he taught the lesson.
Apparently I am not the only one as Kateka (my sister) seems to have had the same experience yesterday in her class. I was a little hesitant to post about this, because I know that some of my students mothers read this blog.
We may have started out on a bad note as two of the kids were sitting on the floor even though there were empty seats. I should have invited them to sit in chairs. Floor sitting does not excuse bad behavior though.
They would not be quiet. They were throwing trash and wrappers and gum. They were pushing the wall/curtain at the other class. When I told them to stop, they were like, “What that wasn’t me?” And I was all, “I just watched you do it!” I separated the two major offenders and this really just made things worse as they were now across the room from each other and just yelling at each other. Which lets be honest, yelling over the teacher really invites the spirits and helps other who are trying to listen focus.
As JJ was wrapping up, he tried and tried to get their attention, and thy just would not be quiet. I was so pissed at the end. I got up and went and found one mother and told her and than a member of the bishopric. When I got home I called the other offenders mother.
Now I know that kids will be kids, but this was way out of control and they would not calm down. I have no problem with kids having fun. But the thing is if you are coming to class to be disruptive, just don’t come. It is disrespectful to the teacher who spent a lot of time preparing to try to teach them. And it is disrespectful to Heavenly Father.
It really hurt my feelings that the acted like this and I think the reason why is that I am so disappointed in them.
Next week I am going to start the lesson with a mini lesson on R-E-S-P-E-C-T. And the consequences of their actions when they are disrespectful to JJ and I and to their peers. Things are going to change.
Also, I think I am going to invite them to write a thank you/apology to JJ.
jj and I seem to be speaking different languages lately. I, of course, am speaking perfect English. Possibly even proper English with a nice accent.
He is speaking Cyborg.
Conversations from today alone:
M – What is the address for Pictureline?
J – 700 South 305 West
M – Long silence as I figure this out in my head.
J – So you get off the…
M – Don’t talk. more silence
J – Get off the freeway…
M – Did you call just to piss me off? Cause you are doing a good job.
Notice how I am so nice. He pauses in the middle of his work day to help me out and then I bite him in the ass.
And than just now:
J – The email is not going to work with your phone and your email.
M – So what you are saying is if I open the email on my phone than I cannot open it on my computer.
J – No. long silence
M – That makes no sense. I better try the question again. So if I open my email on my phone than I cannot open it on my computer.
J – No.
Fit ensues. Love when he cannot hear or answer my questions.
I just finished East of Eden. It was so horrible, violent, and good. It is long, I have been reading it since about March. I got about half way through and was so grossed out and sick of the violence I started fishing around for opinions on if I should finish it or not. No one really said yes or no and amazon gives it a lot of stars. So I slowly pressed on. My cousins husband said it was really good a couple of weeks ago and its time for being returned to the library was nearing so I decided to finish.
It was worth it.
Right at the end, the last 100 pages, my heart swelled and I cried and was so proud.
I love the talk of balance between good and evil.
Was this some kind of joke or did things balance so that if one went too far in one direction an automatic slide moved on the scale and the balance was re-established?
He thought of Sam Hamilton. He had knocked on so many doors. He had the most schemes and plans, and no one would give him any money. But of course–he had so much, he was so rich. You couldn’t give him any more.
I believe this. When things are out of balance, I can feel it inside. I feel the need to get rid of constraints either spiritual or physical. I start to get rid of the things I am carrying around. I simplify. I need the balance. I remember feeling it in college, right before I graduated. I remember feeling it last year at this time. There have been several instances of me casting things way. Getting rid of the burdens. I love the peace it brings.
And the talk of love was so humbling.
“…So he tore up the world. It’s the same way he tore me up–Abra–when he wanted to be a priest.”
Cal said, “I’ll have to think.”
“Give me my books,” she said. “Tell Lee I’ll come. I feel free now. I want to think too. I think I love you…”
“I’m not good.”
“Because you’re not good.”
That is how love feels to me. Somehow, even though we are all so imperfect, we fit together like pieces of a puzzle. I saw a preview for a movie the other day that said, “Whatever you are is exactly what I want.” I touched me so much. I feel like good or bad we all deserve love.
Dear friends, I have a club of haters who are going to read this and think me a big hypocrite. Which I guess could be true, because to be loved by me you must be honest and have integrity. My love is conditional. However, I find my condition to be right thinking and not so much a condition. More of a protection than a condition.
“Timshel!”