.::still blinking::.

happy 4th!

Thank you for all the love and support when Gentry was being so difficult. I truly appreciate knowing that I have good people in my life; people who know me and are willing to understand the patience it takes to be a mom of a toddler who is finding his individuality.

As I was crying to my mom with sunblock in my eyes, contemplating eating my young, my mom offered to come and take Gentry to work with her. This would have relived the momentary pain we were both suffering, but it would not have changed the fact that he was being defiant and mean. What it would have done was teach him that if he throws big enough fits, eventually someone will come and rescue him. This was a battle I felt I needed to stay in with him. I am thankful to my mom for offering to take him though.

I feel like sometimes the battle is worth the outcome. Gentry and I needed to fight so that he could remember who is in charge of him and this house. Structure and stability are worth the fight, because if there is one thing I don’t want happening around here is having a toddler who is in charge. We have all seen the outcome of toddlers running the house on SuperNanny. Happy secure toddlers is what she teaches and that is what I am aiming for, even if there are some major wars along the way.

Having a kid around can sure lead to horrible days. Ever since we returned from NY Gentry has been harder and harder to live with. He and I both cried so much today we eventually had to take pain killers to get rid of our respective headaches.

It all came to a head today when he was in time out (for not listening) and I had to sit and watch him to make sure he stayed. He screamed he hated me after I told him to turn around and sit in the corner. I went up stairs and called my mom and bawled, which resulted in sunscreen in my eyes. Hate and stinging eyes feels real good together.

He then came upstairs so that he could defy me some more and I had to make him stand with his nose on the wall for a while. He really didn’t like that. He was really mad at me then and I could not walk away or he would go and hide or find a toy to play with.

The problem we are having is that Gentry has no ears. They are gone. They have been gone for awhile. Last time we came home from a work trip, jj’s mom suggested we go and have his ears checked. We did. He is fine.

I was talking to a friend the other day whose son really is partially deaf. She said she knew something was up when he was talking and annunciating like the Swedish Chef. Gentry has been speaking like an adult since he was two years old. If he could not hear me he would not and could not have been speaking like he does. So thank you for the suggestion, but hearing and listening are two completely different things.

He will not listen. Ever. Ever. Ever. It leads to happy times and patients being worn by about 9:30 in the morning. Everyday. For the rest of my life it appears. I really wanted to pin a sign on him today that said, “Free, please take. Ears do not function properly.” Then putting him in front of Target in a kennel and hoping someone would take him. Ok. Not really. But sort of.

Frustrated. Frustration. Frustrated. It seems we have days full of temper tantrums and time outs to come. It makes me so frustrated just thinking and talking about it now.

Dearest interweb, do you know where his ears have gone?

Occasionally as I am chatting with jj I will send him pictures of myself at the very moment I am talking to him. I sent this one a while ago and today he sent me the above version back. If you look at the original you will notice that I am graying. Or that I rubbed my head against Gentry’s bathroom as I was painting. It was a pretty hot look. I tried to use it as an excuse to not go to church and teach my lesson. JJ didn’t buy it.

3: Picky Eating (especially by anyone over the age of 8)
4: Stinginess (on the part of the inviter to the invitee)

Others here.

I have been working on a photo shoot for Hobbs Fountains. They want pictures of kids splashing in the water with the features of the Herriman Water Park as obvious parts of the photos.

This is so hard for me. I have never really taken photos of people and stuff, unless that stuff includes little bums or superman capes. And being that I am a perfectionist about things, I have to keep going back and trying for more photos. You cannot tell by the state of my house that I am such a perfectionist, but I am I am the type of perfectionist that will not even attempt it if it is not going to be perfect, thus the state of destruction in my home and the repeated repeated repeated photoshoots. I think I am getting close though, maybe even finished.

I can tell Gentry is finished. He was probably finished after the first try. He will not even put on a happy face for the photos any more. I had to bribe him today so that he would stay near me and not run off into the street and try to hitch hike to Disneyland.

I love the challenge of this though. Also, I have had to talk to complete strangers and ask if it is ok to take pictures with their kids in the background. It makes me feel like a real photographer. Which lets face it, who wouldn’t want to make a living taking pictures and making new friends.

The end.

And.

Amen.

favorite color:

favorite animal:


bad habit:

favorite food:



place i live: (I didn’t cheat, my photos came up in the google search!)

biggest fear:

my job:



favorite author:





favorite treat:

favorite places:

favorite treat:

me:

Here are the rules: You have to answer the questions with a Google image search. NO using your own pictures. Even on the picture of you. You can’t use any words to describe anything either. Let’s see what happens.

This is Lilly. She actually belongs here, and is my only niece, for now.

Now, I am not one to not like people. I think you all will agree with that. But babies, just really aren’t my thing. They don’t respond. They are super needy. They wake you up at inconvenient times. Toddlers on the other hand. They love you and tell you it. They follow you around and talk to you about their new discoveries. Lilly is now a toddler, I guess she has been for a while, I am just not around her to much. She likes me now, and how can I not love someone who loved me first. I guess that is how babies work.

She calls me Muh-Tee-Wuh and wants to be with me and sit on my lap and play with me. We went up to Logan to get Gentry on Sunday and she laughed and played with me. She ran around with Gentry and I. She has the cutest short little legs and they can get going so quickly.

Toddlers, they are my crowd.

Have you seen this? It is pretty much hilarious.

I guess I have not shared much of my trip. I went for business with jj. We went to a little tradeshow in Manhattan, it was in one of the World Trade Centers and right in between the Hudson River and the World Trade Centers that fell. They set up booths down there where there are palm trees and the sun is reflecting.

A lot of the nights we went out with dealers for JJ’s company to really nice restaurants. We really did not have a lot of time to do things that we wanted to do. But we did do just enough to make me want more.

The nights we had to ourselves we mostly just wandered. We went to Mary Poppins and walked around Time Square and Rockefeller Plaza. The last night we were there we went with Otto, a co-worker of jj’s, to Grimaldis the best pizza place in Brooklyn. The thing was that it was a major down pour complete with lightening and flooding and there was a line out the door. We figured if there was a line like that in a huge storm, the pizza had to be amazing. It was very authentic, and you basically do things their way. You sit in a cafeteria and the come and throw the plates and silverware at you take your order as quickly as possible and then toss your pizza to you. They take cash only and they want you to get out of there quickly. Fast. Fast. Faster.

If you want to see more photos of the trip, go here.