.::still blinking::.

I am going to private on February 6th. If you would like to be part of the invited elite email me or send me a comment with your email address. I will not publish your comment.

I found a picture of myself on an website for Italians with fetishes for women in casts and it freaked me out. Also, I am sick of all the criticism from people who don’t matter.

I will not be posting until than.

If you want to see my feelings on this a bit you may read here, here and here.

Also, dear friends that I have linked to. I am sorry. I was naive and didn’t know the amount of loony craziness on the web. I thought people were generally good at heart, now I feel taken advantage of.

The other day, I took Gentry to Wendy’s for lunch. I did not get any food because he was getting a kids meal and he doesn’t eat a whole lot. I just waited for him to finished and sucked diet coke like it was my nectar of life. Gentry finished his tiny frosty except for one bite. I asked him if I could have the last bite and as quickly as he could he dumped it on the table and then head butted me.

The message I got was, “I will not be sharing my food with you, you evil troll. And because you have spoken to a higher being you must be punished.” So I stood up, kicked him between the pockets, and than left him there. In my mind. I wish that is what had happened, instead I laid on the mommy guilt.

A few days later he had a cookie and I asked for a bite of it. Hmm. I am spotting a trend here. When he said, “No.” I reminded him of the other day when he had not shared his frosty with me and how mean he had been. Wah ha ha. He gave in and gave me a bite. Isn’t he the best sharer you have heard of?

I have had a request to repost one of my previous entries. As I searched for this in the blog archives, “Baby Jesus” came up a lot more than you would think. Also, the new vacuum that resulted from this incident is on the fritz. Does anyone have any good, non-$500 vacuums to recommend?

March 11, 2008
Have you ever blown up your vacuum? Me either.

But my mom told me around Christmas time she was vacuuming around her Nativities on one of her shelves and accidentally sucked up Baby Jesus.

Here is the part where I tell the truth. I actually blew up our vacuum on Friday. This was a new experience for me. We had had our vacuum since we had gotten married, so just over six years. It was given to us by my mom’s co-workers at Herriman City.

I was vacuuming the car out on Friday. I did not see anything large that I had vacuumed up, but I heard it. It was loud. I heard it make its way up the tube, clanking around and then it finally got to the actual vacuum part. I am making assumptions about the size because of the collateral damage. I don’t know what I actually sucked up, I am assuming it was Baby Jesus, because he was pissed.

The vacuum knocked itself over, blew a large piece (the size of my hand) off the back, shot the bristle cover up and off the vacuum and started screaming at the top of it lungs and spinning as fast as it could. I quickly turned it off and pulled the front off so I could see if anything had happened to the bag, there was a hole in it.

My neighbor was outside and came running when she heard it. It scared her as all our kids were out and we were keeping a lazy eye on them.

So we ordered a new one the other day, not the nicest, because $500 for a vacuum, is just sick. I would rather spend the extra cash on shoes. You know, important things.

Phew. Caught up on email and am now looking at my staggering to do list.

We were in Las Vegas last week and it was fun. We worked the Control4 booth at CES. I have smartened up a bit and did not wear high heals at all and surprise, surprise, my legs did not go numb. Shocker.

Anyway, since my legs were not bloody stumps at the end of the day, I wanted to go out and do things later on.

We went clubbing one night at Pure a club in Caesars Palace, I have not done this since college with Katrina and those clubs were not like this club. And than went to Le Reve at the Wynn the next night. It was really amazing.

Also, have you noticed how Trump Tower, or whatever it is called looks like a giant gilded penis. I am serious. It is the most phallic building on the strip, I wonder if the little man is trying to make up for something.

We are back now and so happy to see Gentry and his cute little tush. I love being a mom and coming home reminds me of it.

Love yer guts,
Makayla

I miss him.

“He who is passionate and hasty, is generally honest; it is your cool dissembling hypocrite, of whom you should beware.”

I have a problem with honesty. I have mentioned before.

I have really been thinking about what I should and should not be writing about. Cause, you know, shit happens. But how much of it do I write down. My grandma kept a journal and I was asking my mom about them around Thanksgiving. My Aunt Adele has them now, but she won’t let people read them because they are sad. I know that Grandma Katherine’s life was sad, but it was filled with people who loved her as well. Like me. And my mom. And all of my family.

I was talking to my mother-in-law about this the other day and she said that in church a lady stood and read from her Grandma’s journal, a Christmas entry and that it was really so touching.

So where do I draw the line? Do I pretend that my life is magic, and lucky charms, and unicorns? Or do I include the other stuff as well. Because the other stuff has changed me and made the person I am today, but so have the unicorns. Do I pretend I am happy all the time? I just don’t know exactly.

I have recently started keeping a journal again. JJ kept a journal everyday on his LDS mission to Russia. I have been typing it up and really enjoy his little entries. He even writes about how many rubbles things cost. Is a rubble, like a fruity pebble?

Here is what I think. I write honestly and from the heart. Because sometimes things are magic and sometimes they make me cry in my bed for days. But the thing is, when I have read my journal entries from when I was struggling so much more with life I appreciate the changes that I made and realize I am doing better. And the happy times, well they are fun to remember. Like the first time I kissed my first real boyfriend, and felt the fire. And the time I realized I would probably marry JJ, even when I did not know him well yet. And when I got pregnant. And when the baby kicked. And now. When he tells me about being there when JJ and I got married and how I looked like a princess.

I think being honest is the way to go. Honest and true feelings and thoughts. Those are the things I should share. Because what is the point of writing if I am not sharing the truth.

Tony Stark

Wolverine

James Bond

Seriously.

I am still frantically preparing for Christmas. What they heck was I thinking making so many presents? I hate giving things I put no heart into, but my heart is no longer feeling it, I am completely out of steam and yet I head back into the mess to continue upward and onward. Hopefully.

The presents are really cute in my head, but I am a clumsy seamstress and it shows. I am trying though. Seriously trying.

Mr. Dino has made it into a lot of photos lately. The last photo he was not “eating” Baby Jesus. I was informed that this is just Jesus’ new mode of transportation. Like Dino Taxi, with out the joy of being screamed at in the middle of a busy street in New York in the rain about getting OUT of my taxi. Taxi drivers in Denver are a lot nicer, doling out advice about having more children and spreading the love.

Cookin’ the books with JJ makes me want to perform my own frontal lobotomy. Except that I have been begging for 6 years for his help with this. The one year that is missing from this equation, I was on a postpartum fueled release time.

Anyway, it is probably that I have reached bedtime and I just cannot comprehend all this number talk and why do I have to do the majority of this and we are still 2 years behind. Because as you read in a previous post we JUST got our tax returns and economic stimulus check, thanks GW. And now begins the rush to tax season, because I swear to you, I am not filling again in September.

Also, I got cold recently and decided I give up on cute I am going for old granny warmth. I am now wearing JJ’s down parka that hangs down to my knees and I went and bought thermal underwear that are totally feminine with 2 inches of elastic lace at the bottom. It is totally hot. There is also a lot of beanie wearing, which helps with not wanting to do my hair.

There you have it. The formula for avoiding doing the deed.

Long Underwear (to my ankles)
+ Talk of Quicken and Reconcilling
——————————–
= A Long night of hot, hot sleep.