Honestly
“He who is passionate and hasty, is generally honest; it is your cool dissembling hypocrite, of whom you should beware.”
I have a problem with honesty. I have mentioned before.
I have really been thinking about what I should and should not be writing about. Cause, you know, shit happens. But how much of it do I write down. My grandma kept a journal and I was asking my mom about them around Thanksgiving. My Aunt Adele has them now, but she won’t let people read them because they are sad. I know that Grandma Katherine’s life was sad, but it was filled with people who loved her as well. Like me. And my mom. And all of my family.
I was talking to my mother-in-law about this the other day and she said that in church a lady stood and read from her Grandma’s journal, a Christmas entry and that it was really so touching.
So where do I draw the line? Do I pretend that my life is magic, and lucky charms, and unicorns? Or do I include the other stuff as well. Because the other stuff has changed me and made the person I am today, but so have the unicorns. Do I pretend I am happy all the time? I just don’t know exactly.
I have recently started keeping a journal again. JJ kept a journal everyday on his LDS mission to Russia. I have been typing it up and really enjoy his little entries. He even writes about how many rubbles things cost. Is a rubble, like a fruity pebble?
Here is what I think. I write honestly and from the heart. Because sometimes things are magic and sometimes they make me cry in my bed for days. But the thing is, when I have read my journal entries from when I was struggling so much more with life I appreciate the changes that I made and realize I am doing better. And the happy times, well they are fun to remember. Like the first time I kissed my first real boyfriend, and felt the fire. And the time I realized I would probably marry JJ, even when I did not know him well yet. And when I got pregnant. And when the baby kicked. And now. When he tells me about being there when JJ and I got married and how I looked like a princess.
I think being honest is the way to go. Honest and true feelings and thoughts. Those are the things I should share. Because what is the point of writing if I am not sharing the truth.
January 1st, 2009 at 9:57 pm
I agree 100%. No one is happy all the time. I see no reason in pretending that I am. I do try and be a happy, non-complaining person in general. But sometimes I just need to vent in ink, so to speak. Just to get it all out so I can learn from it and move on.
I personally, don’t see anything wrong with sharing the lows and the highs of your life. That’s what makes you…you.
January 1st, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Life is to be experienced; both the ups and the downs should be recorded. Because we gather strength from each other’s sad times and joy from each other’s good times. Don’t deprive your posterity of both the joys and the sorrows that make you who you are. We learn and grow from both the good and bad in life, so both should be equally appreciated and recorded.
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:42 pm
I also agree 100%. I love your honesty and that is why I read. I hate reading friends blogs who are all happy and life is perfect ALL THE TIME. It doesn’t seem real. And it only makes me depressed about my own chaotic life.
January 2nd, 2009 at 7:49 pm
I had this same dilemma about deciding if/when to censor myself. I decided I would leave my journals absolutely uncensored, but I sometimes censor my blog. It creates a different element if there is a contributing audience.
January 3rd, 2009 at 10:04 am
I understand the dilemna, especially when writing on a blog. There are people that (unfortunately) read my blog that I feel I have to censor for. However, although it’s been a while since I kept a journal, I decided to be 100%. That means I have journals that my children will not be able to read until they are at least 18 years old!!
January 3rd, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Unfortunately I have the same dilemma as Michele. I have considered starting an anonymous blog, but that seems like a lot of effort. I don’t necessarri;y portray my life as perfect, it’s just that sometimes what I’m thinking about isn’t very nice, or not how I want to think of myself. Does that make sense?
As for Gentry remembering your wedding, we have had the same experience with a couple of our kids. I hadn’t heard anyone else mention it before. It’s a remarkable thing isn’t it, to know they knew you we would be and joined our families anyway.
I say be honest, it’s what people love most about you.
Okay, obviously my son is not reading your blog, he just seems to always log in before me.
January 6th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Hey, this is Angela Bingham (David’s wife). I agree. All parts of life are valid, because they all add up to this unique person who is me (or you, or anyone.) That said, I am impressed often on how it all adds up and works together to make me a better person. Even if its an experience I don’t feel comfortable saying all the nitty gritty details, I find that I can write the things I learned and that is valuable as well. I hope you are well, and that it’s okay I decided to comment. That was a very thoughtful post, and I have to admit I’m just getting started on blogging, so yea.
January 10th, 2009 at 12:20 am
I so loathe censoring my blog of honesty. I’m growing more and more unabashed about things as I go, though.
There are some things that require a healthy amount of sensitivity, but one of the best things about your blog is its rawness. Please don’t ever change it.