.::still blinking::.

The caramels turned out wonderfully. They are very good and rich. So rich that you only want to eat a few of them and your sweet tooth is done. They actually required 3 hours of constant attention and then when they were finished cooking you could ignore them for a day to let them cool. I guess cooling takes that long. Anyway, they are done now and we have a huge amount of them. You can get the recipe here.

I was thinking that instead of book club this month we could do a Christmas Treat exchange. What do you think?

We had a list of things to accomplish today: clean and vacuum the car including the trunk, vacuum all floors in the house and sweep and mop the kitchen, hang another shelf in the laundry closet.

We have gotten all this done. Well jj is currently working on hanging the shelf, which I am sure that the trying to sleep gentry appreciates. I am grateful to him though for getting it done, we have needed another shelf here for quite sometime.

When he gets done I am going to head downstairs to make caramels. The Martha Stewart version. I will let you know how they turn out and if I like them. In true Martha fashion, the recipe is very painstaking. You have to stir the stuff for an hour and then let it sit in a pan for 24 hours. So about this time tomorrow we may be enjoying the fruits of our labor.

Also, here is a cute picture of Gentry. Don’t you want to kiss those little swollen lips. I gave him a cookie with nuts in it the day before and you can see what it did to him. Nothing that would kill him, but obviously he should not be having them. And yet I keep trying, hoping that this time he will be over this allergy. The band aid is because he bumped his head and of course a band aid, or as he calls them “bangers,” always make him feel better. Especially one this cool.

Also, his hair is done. He does not look cute with the good boy hairdo. He never has. Maybe it is the wonky way that it grows or that there is not a huge amount of it, but it just looks better messy. We really do style it. He goes and gets the brush and gel and hairspray. I am a dork, two products in a two year olds hair. But it is cute.

Last night for dinner we had Inari Sushi and Sweet Potato Tempura. It was so good. Inari are little soy pockets that you put rice in and we put shrimp, spicy mayonnaise and green onions on top. Tempura is similar to onion rings except you can use almost anything. I love the fried sweet potatoes.

Making a book for relatives for Christmas. Cute.

How is it possible to mourn someone you never knew?

I am probably going to be thought racist for this post.

But I heard on the radio today that one of the Wayans brothers performed at the Laugh Factory this weekend and said the “N” word 18 times during his routine. The Laugh Factory is going to fine him $20.00 for everytime that he said it.

I was shocked. Not that he used the word, which is very offensive and I do not excuse the behaviour, but that he would be fined for using it. He was probably using it to get some publicity from the stunt. Hoping to have his video posted all over the internet, hoping to shock the nation. I think that we are going to find that the more this word gets used the less shocking it is going to be.

What really bothers me is that people freak out about using that word, when their everyday vernacular includes so many other offensive words such as the “F” word and taking the Lords name in vain.

If people were fined for everytime they used the “F” word during a comedy routine there would be no other words to use, and they would be fined thousands of dollars. It is like they start the timer and see how many times they can get it into their 5-minutes of alloted time. I also don’t understand how this word has become basically the adjective of choice for all other words. “What an “F”ing idiot!” “Isn’t the sky “F”ing gorgeous!” Are there no other words in the english language that could possibly describe what you are seeing and feeling.

And how is it that taking the Lords name in vain is common, everyday practice. When Martha Stewart came onto tv after her breif prison sentence she said it all the time about basically everything. She has since changed to “Oh, my gosh.” Which is fine with me, but maybe it shouldn’t be ok with me, because we all know where it came from and what it is substituting.

My boy.

Gentry’s only cousin. She puts her best features forward. Nose and lips.

An early Christmas present to me. I like him.

Could new flannel sheets be any more inviting?

The anger was not gone today. While working out it got even worse and I wanted to go and punch her in the stomach. So I prayed that the pain would go away. I hate the anger and frustration I feel. I hate even more the way I treat Gentry when I am angry.

This song came onto my shuffle and the pain and anger were gone. For now.

What Sarah Said
Death Cab for Cutie

And it came to me then that every plan
Is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
That I’ve already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose
Than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself

‘Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes ‘round and everyone lift their heads
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said
That love is watching someone die

So who’s gonna watch you die? So whos gonna watch you die

“That love is watching someone die”

Maybe I will never have to watch a person die. But watching someone hurt themselves hurts just the same.

I am done, in several areas. Whining and anger are two of these areas. Tonight when midnight hits I am through with the negative thoughts.

Do you think it is possible? I will let you know how I do tomorrow.

jj gets up at 7:00 to workout, I get up a little later and go work out when he is finished. When he left this morning there was a cat scratching and meowing at our front door to be let in. When he came back and I was about to leave he showed me the cat and I let him in. As you all know I will let anyone into the house: salesmen, stray cats, crazy teenagers. So the kitty walked around for a minute and decided that it would take a nap under the Christmas tree. But it was not our cat and we thought that someone would be looking for it, so we made it go outside and I left to workout. When I came back from the gym the cat was gone and I thought that maybe he had gone home.

Around 10 this morning I could hear him out at the front door again and I let him in. I brought Gentry down to see the cat and they were fast friends. Gentry went back upstairs to watch a movie and explain the to the cat the inner workings of our house. I was washing dishes downstairs. When I came back upstairs the kitty was busy rubbing himself against every surface that did not smell like him. Which of course would be them all, this particular kitty had not visited before. He was quite a site to behold rubbing himself like a slinky up and down the stairs. I do not even know how to describe it so that you would be able to picture it. Maybe like cat jello slurping down the stairs.

Eventually I called the HOA and told them and they told me to call Animal Control. So I did. They came and got the kitty and said that they would scan him for a microchip and that someone probably would call tonight or in the morning. I hope so.

But seeing Gentry with the kitty really made me think that maybe we need one. Gentry was so happy to be in charge of someone. “Kitty come here.” “Kitty, my mommie!” “Kitty, no on bed!” And if I would have let him I am sure that he would have smothered the kitty with love and affection for the rest of his kitty days.

Of course, there is the part, where I have never owned a pet and also the part about me and Gentry being allergic to them. hmmmm

Also, this kitty was a tabby? the kind that is kind of gray and stripped different colors and he had a white tip on this tail and his little feet were white and he had a white tummy. He was still kind of a young adult cat, I bet, because he still wanted to play a little. Old cats kind of like to sleep a lot and not play as much. So if you know where it belongs it is with the city.