.::still blinking::.

I get the child food. It’s what I do, it is almost what I live for. The other day I was getting him some completely nutritious and natural snacks out of the pantry, Hershey Kisses.

To reward me for my kindness he came over and bit me on the butt. It didn’t really hurt, it mostly just scared me. But I yelled at him because I was startled by the pincer in an unexpected area and jj made him have a time out. When I was safely out of his site I burst into laughter, the silent and deadly kind. I did not want him to know he was so hilarious.

That is the last thing I need. A land shark who thinks he is funny. I keep imagining his little teeth sinking into my ample rump.

I had a great big list of things to do today, including visit Ross (the store, not a relative or friend) that just opened up near us. So exciting. Something that was not on the list, pruning the bushes in the yard. But the kitchen floor was just mopped and I could not get around to get other things done, so Gentry and I headed outside for just a few minutes to do a little yard work and diggin’.

The pruning went very well, so well in fact that I cut off the tip of my left thumb. I did not really see it happen. I just put it in my mouth and ran to find jj. I told him I had hurt myself and did not want to see it. He made me put it under running water and looked at it. It is not bad. I don’t need stitches, but I think that I am definitely going to miss the tip of my finger. I don’t think that it will grow back normally, I will always have a little indention. Fortunately, you don’t need your left thumb to type.

jj took over the house work for me and finished making a lovely St. Patty’s Day feast. We had corned beef and fried cabbage which is strangely like candy, and whole wheat biscuits. Besides being my nurse he turned into my personal chef, what a great guy.

While he was making dinner and I was supervising, Gentry was running around looking through a view finder and ran into a wall. He is going to get a black eye. This one is not from us, I would just threaten it with my mind powers. When we put him to bed tonight he had major purple and blue bumps around his eye socket. In the morning he will probably be completely black and blue. I feel so bad. He did not really care though, so we went outside and he ran around like a crazy guy.

We will have to survey the damage in the morning, on both of us.

I keep thinking of things that I am going to have trouble doing. Changing diapers. Flossing. Unbuttoning my pants, I already had to have jj do that for me. I am sure he minded terribly. I may have to wear stretchy pants for several days in a row now.

:: this print :: jj for getting me the print :: this and this and this and this etsy shop ::

:: finding old jeans that I still fit into, the really comfy ones with the holes in them :: wearing the old jeans, they are cool again ::

:: having a little warm hand wrapped around my finger as I walk around Gateway ::

:: the guide by borne :: for once in my life I see pure love staring right back at me ::

:: true affection by the blow ::

Things move pretty quickly around here as you can see. I am working on having a better attitude about my little two year old. A friend gave me tons of good advice, I am so thankful.

Today we went for a walk around the neighborhood. We threw rocks off this bridge and dug in the dirt.
I love were I live. It is so beautiful. There were little purple flowers abloom on our walk, I picked a few for Gentry. I could smell them all around us and feel the way they made the air around them just a little bit warmer. While we were looking for rocks to throw he found a little one that was shaped like a heart. I could not throw it, I have it in my pocket.

These cartoons are hilarious.

Don’t click here if you are offended by swear words.

Don’t click here if you are offended by lactating women.

After the fiasco yesterday at church which entailed several time outs, his nursery teachers coming to find me to let me know he was hitting and stealing toys and she would not let him back in class unless he could be nice, and just plain screaming fits; who would have thought that I would already be tired of him at 9:00 this morning.

That’s right my angel child is driving me nuts. It is going to be a glorious day, I can feel it.

For breakfast he wanted a bowl of oatmeal. But not really. A bowl of yogurt. But not really. A small bowl of cheerios (I was starting to catch on and just gave him a little). But not really. An apple. But not really. After I finished my breakfast and proceeded to dispose of his, I let him know that he is not getting any food until lunch. All he can have is water. Because that is semi-free and I don’t really have a problem throwing glasses of that away. I guess what he really wanted was to see me throw food away, he wanted breakfast and a show, with out the breakfast.

And now he is sitting behind me hitting me with his vacuum and telling me I need to go exercise. Go get me a switch boy, I need to exercise my right to beat you.

These are pictures that I took when I was in a photo class in college. I love this one. A self portrait.

This is a night time exposure. jj was playing with a light up yoyo and it broke and rolled away. It was perfect for this picture. It is titled, “The Broken Yoyo Story.”

This is also a night time exposure. It is of First Dam in Logan Canyon. The white streak in back is a car that drove by with its lights on.

I just finished the book, These Is My Wordsfor my book club.

I really liked it, but it is not a thriller or anything. It is just an account of a lady growing up at the turn of the century, and about love. I could not put it down. I did not even get dressed the day that I read it, just hung around with the kid and read like crazy. I don’t really know what was so addicting.

There is a part where she is traveling from Texas to Arizona and the page of a book blows by. She picks it up and reads it and then thinks to herself, “Accustomed is what the scarlet velvet woman was. She was accustomed to her sorrows it said, as she had been accustomed to great riches and fine food. We are accustomed to Indian wars and sorrows and traveling fast and folks dying.” It made me wonder what I am accustomed to. What are you accustomed to?

She also reflects on herself.

“At least I know there are other women around me. I think my Mama and Savannah must be special people in the Lord’s eyes, as they have gone about doing generous and loving things without even a second thought. For me it seems like the only thing that come natural is aggravation and hard work.

“Sometimes I feel like a tree on a hill, at the place where all the wind blows and the hail hits the hardest. All the people I love are down the side aways, sheltered under a great rock, and I am out of the fold, standing alone in the sun and snow. I feel like I am not part of the rest somehow, although they welcome me and are kind. I see my family as they sit together and it is like they have a certain way between them that is beyond me. I wonder if other folks ever feel included yet alone.”

I remember when I first put this feeling to words. I was in college and felt completely surrounded by people and yet completely alone. I still feel this way, do you ever feel like this?

– waking up to a pink morning sky –
– Whole Wheat Bisquits –
– throwing a youth activity together in 10 minutes and having it be spectacular –
– these is my words–
– This chair and also this one –

– funny little boy with a big hat –
– meeting honest people –
– getting a new bra with a whole lot of oomph –
– being taken care of –
– when the boy eats something new –

We went to Chili’s last night, home of we make sure everything tastes like Vienna Sausage. I had the lettuce wraps, Vienna Sausages with peanut sauce. My lettuce was wilted and brown. I tore off the icky parts. I was going to just ignore it. He told the waiter and they gave us half off of my meal.

I hope things keep changing for the better.