.::still blinking::.

The good news is that I am going to Hawaii on Wednesday. I can hardly wait!

I have about a million things to do including giving myself a bikini wax and waxing jj’s back. I know you wanted to know. It really is one of my favorite activities though. I also need to go find the perfect color of toe nail polish and get my piggies sparkling and happy and remove any hair on them as well. And while we are on the subject of hair removal, I bleached my mustache the other day, but now I need to wax that and between my eyebrows as well, and maybe between jj’s. I guess that is not a maybe, it always needs to be waxed there, it is just whether I can talk him into it or not. I bet you didn’t know I was so hairy, or rather you didn’t want to know. That is probably more correct.

I have started applying my fake tan and I am not streaked yet. Hopefully that will not happen for me. I am trying not to get tan or burned any more. All of jj’s family has skin cancer. I know that is not hereditary for me, but I don’t want to get it. But the damage is probably already done. But I am doing all that I can now to try not to get. Hopefully it will be enough. I hate when I get burned.

So I will not be posting for a weekish. I may come up with something brilliant to say tomorrow. You never know when genius will strike.

But I will be taking pictures of our tropical retreat. It is in celebration of our 5th year of marriage and also jj’s birthday. He is turning 30 on the 2nd.

Wish us luck and no sunburns. And don’t burn our house down while we are gone.

A person is not defined by the situation they came from unless they let it be the deciding factor. Who wants to be defined by their sorrow? I would rather be characterized by my victories. I need to stop bringing up my challenges and start talking about what I am good at. There actually are things that I am good at and if I start focusing on those then maybe I will start feeling good about me.

And other peoples opinions will just melt into oblivion.

Turtle sketches for another logo that I am working on. By the way, what does yuppie mean? I am looking it up on the internet and I don’t think that I am getting the right idea.

The most exciting thing of late is that jj has gotten his thumb posted in someone else’s blog. He is so proud of his Wii scouting abilities, he is sure he is getting one of these when they are released. We will see.

As for me, I am feeling incredibly boring or bored rather. I have tons or projects that I am working on and need to finish, but I have no will power to work to speak of. I don’t know what my problem is. I wish that I could sleep all day, but I do not have time for such obvious waste of time. However, watching Martha Stewart, that would not count as a waste of time, right?

I am so tired of playing with blocks and coloring. But that is pretty much what Gentry wants to do all the time and eat m&m’s. But who can blame him for that, it could be rated up there with one of my top things to do. I am just bored. I need to get out more or something. I need to find my purpose. Sorry if this is a downer for those of you that are thinking about becoming full time mothers. It really starts to wear on you.

I have been wondering lately, how many women could have changed the world if they would have or could have pursued something other than motherhood. And besides that what about all the people in 3rd world countries that are stuck in their situation. They could be geniuses and could have changed the world if they would have been born to someone else, or gotten their hands on some money or been born in a different country.

What is this oppression? What am I supposed to be doing that I am not. What is my big idea that could change not only my life, but those around me. I want to be more than I am.

I checked out from the library Carmen Electras Advanced Aerobic Striptease. Mostly out of curiosity of seeing what kind of work out this could possibly be. It isn’t. I don’t think you could get a work out from the six 5-minute clips of non-exercise that mostly repeat themselves and go incredibly slow. I was hoping for some sexy work out, none found here unfortunately.

I guess the workout comes from later, after you have performed it for your husband.

Also, did you know that you and your 40-year old neighbor could join a dance class. I am not talking like waltz and tango. I am talking about like the drill team at high school. My neighbor wants me to join with her, I cannot think of anything less appealing. Oh, wait, yes I can. But not a lot of things.

For instance, I never wanted to be in those when I was in high school. And now that I could be performing right after my neighbors daughter, that makes it even less appealing.

But there was the few months while I was pregnant that I went to Jazzercise. Now that is an experience. I am so uncoordinated. I cannot get dance moves down, ever. The lady that taught these classes would yell at me because while everyone else was turning right I was always turning left or pumping my arms the wrong way. During the sexy dance stuff I would just do jumping jacks or something. I hate all the extra crap. I just want to get in, work HARD, and get out of there and then be sore from the good work out that I put in. I rarely would even sweat in that class and I was trying hard to sweat. So I quit and joined Xcel Spa & Fitness. That was good, but still I hated going to the classes and trying to learn the moves. So I eventually quit doing that also and just walking on the treadmill during CSI:Blanding, or whatever was on.

There came a time while pregnant that I was walking on the treadmill and sneezed. At that moment I lost a little bladder control and leaked a little pee. Nobody knew, but I booked it to the bathroom and made sure that I did not do that again. I think after that I did not work out much. I was so big though that I was having a hard time walking anyway. The most exercise that I wanted to be doing was getting off the couch to find the remote or a bag of cheetos.

Go to this website for delicious popcorn. I ordered mine and I cannot wait for it to come. You just have to pay for the shipping. You have to order before the end of October.

One time in high school, my english teacher told us that the next chapter in the book that we were reading had a sex scene in it. We all went home and read like crazy looking for the sex. I did not find it, but you know that everyone was at home dilligently searching and reading the next chapter hoping for a glimpse of this secret adult world. That was a good way into tricking us into reading.

There is one of the girls in the young women who does not know what sex is. Nothing about it. I have been aware of this for about a month and it has bewildered me for this long. I am finally thinking that something needs to be done though.

We have a lesson about sexual purity a little while ago. The lady who was teaching the lesson called all the parents of the girls to let them know what we were going to be talking about. So that if anyone had any questions when they came home, the parents would know why. I thought that was very considerate of this teacher. There was one set of parents though that said that their daughter did not know what sex was, she had never heard that word before. She would not know what we were talking about.

I found out after the lesson about all this and was discussing it with the young women’s president. I was kind of shocked. I remember coming home from school when I was in like 2nd grade and asked what sex was. My parents sat me down and told me the entire process, all the sickening details. I was shocked and I definitely think that is to early to tell a child. But isn’t 12 old enough to know. The girl is in junior high, she is going to find out from someone sometime. The young women’s president said that her seven year old knows in a very basic sense what it was. She said that he knows that mommies and daddies that love each other make babies. He may not know the words, but he is seven. But this seven year old knows more than this oblivious 12 year old.

Today the teacher started the lesson off by saying something about chastity. This girl asked what chastity was. The leaders tried to answer the question the best that they could with out actually answering it. They used the word morality. She did not know what that was either. When everyone was done trying to explain what it was I leaned over to her and told her to ask her parents. They are a better source of the knowledge then we are and they will know how to tell her better than we will. Hopefully they will do the job and inform her. Later on the young women’s president said something about skinny dipping and how she had accidently found something about that on the internet. Everyone laughed and the girl leaned over to me and asked what that was. I told her it was swimming with no clothes. I did not expound on my skinny dipping adventures. Probably not to acceptable for church youth.

I am perplexed though. Isn’t not telling her about sex, like not telling her about drugs and hoping that she makes the right decision in a strange situation?

I don’t think that her parents are doing her any favors by keeping her in this bubble. I know that we use this word a lot in Utah. But really, some things need to be taught. No matter how uncomfortable they make you. This is not the kind of stuff that you wait to teach your child right before she turns sixteen. This is the kind of stuff that you have open dialogues about. This is the kind of stuff that you need to be incredibly open and willing to talk about. This is not an off limits subject.

Lately, Gentry has picked up a lot of slang and not so slang words. They are rather funny.

For instance, if you ask him if he is coloring, he will answer, “Sure.” He uses “sure” in place of “yes” almost always. Are you watching Monsters? Sure. Did you poop? Sure. Is that your elbow? Sure.

He also says “gosh” all the time. When he is flustered from laughing he will say it. It sounds a lot like when Goofy says it with a funny voice inflection. Kind of a “Gorsh.” Or if he is excited about something like a bandaid on his finger, “Gorsh.” Or if we get a new book from the library, “Gorsh.”

He picked up “dang it” yesterday. Marni, jj’s sister, came down and said it a couple of times I guess. He has been saying it ever since. “Dang it, more juice. Now!” That is actual phrasing. “Color, dang it.” How does he know when to say all this stuff? I don’t know. Crazy kid.

We have been asking him to say “please” instead of “now!” “Salsa, now!” Can you say please? In the most angelic voice he will say “pleeeeeease.” It is very sing-song when he says it and it melts my heart. “Hold you, please.” Which translated means, hold me. If he is asking please we are so much more likely to give in.

He also has picked up “stupid.” I didn’t think that I said this that much, but he must have picked it up the couple of times that I have said it. He says it to get a rise out of me, and it does. Very smart kid, if you ask me.

We have a little photo album that we take to church with us. It has pictures of us and his grandparents and him in it. All the pictures of him as a baby he says are baby josh. All babies that we pass in the store a baby josh. Basically, all babies are baby josh. Cute.

A sketch for a logo that I am working on. This is not any sort of announcement.

I have been debating whether or not to share this, but I figure that a bunch of you are in for it in a short while anyway. So here goes.

A couple days ago Gentry pooped in the tub. I know this is not ground breaking or anything and he has done it before, but he has been so funny about it ever since.

When we saw him sitting in the tub with a great big poop we immediatly removed him and went and decontaminated him in the other bathtub. Gentry was so sad about it. It was probably the way that we acted that brought on the enormous melt down that followed the event. For a little while he would not lie down in my tub so that I could properly lather, rinse, repeat. Then when he finally did lie down, and I washed him, he would not get back up. He wanted to stay in the tub. I was not in the mood to see if he had any other suprise to share. So I got him out.

While I was bathing Gentry, jj began the wash and sterilization of the tub that had just been defecated in. He filled the bathroom sink with clorox and water and started washing all the toys that were in the the tub at the same moment. He then got out the Ajax and washed the tub. He was very efficient and thorough. He deserves a reward. I know just what he would like.

The next day every person that I talked to Gentry had to interrupt and say, “Pooped! Tub!” All the people would smile and then look at me quizzically. I would tell them that he had pooped in the tub and that he was obviously very proud of the fact. It was semi-mortifying to discuss the bowel movements of my son with my mothers coworkers, including but not limited to, the Mayor of Herriman. Who is very understanding, having raised five children himself. I just like to pretend that I am civilized and that such disturbances never happen in my life.

He was still talking about it today when I gave him a bath. He got in the tub and said happily, “Pooped! Tub!” I hoped he was stating fact and not warning of things to come. Here’s to the ghost of things to come.