.::still blinking::.

After the fiasco yesterday at church which entailed several time outs, his nursery teachers coming to find me to let me know he was hitting and stealing toys and she would not let him back in class unless he could be nice, and just plain screaming fits; who would have thought that I would already be tired of him at 9:00 this morning.

That’s right my angel child is driving me nuts. It is going to be a glorious day, I can feel it.

For breakfast he wanted a bowl of oatmeal. But not really. A bowl of yogurt. But not really. A small bowl of cheerios (I was starting to catch on and just gave him a little). But not really. An apple. But not really. After I finished my breakfast and proceeded to dispose of his, I let him know that he is not getting any food until lunch. All he can have is water. Because that is semi-free and I don’t really have a problem throwing glasses of that away. I guess what he really wanted was to see me throw food away, he wanted breakfast and a show, with out the breakfast.

And now he is sitting behind me hitting me with his vacuum and telling me I need to go exercise. Go get me a switch boy, I need to exercise my right to beat you.

These are pictures that I took when I was in a photo class in college. I love this one. A self portrait.

This is a night time exposure. jj was playing with a light up yoyo and it broke and rolled away. It was perfect for this picture. It is titled, “The Broken Yoyo Story.”

This is also a night time exposure. It is of First Dam in Logan Canyon. The white streak in back is a car that drove by with its lights on.

I just finished the book, These Is My Wordsfor my book club.

I really liked it, but it is not a thriller or anything. It is just an account of a lady growing up at the turn of the century, and about love. I could not put it down. I did not even get dressed the day that I read it, just hung around with the kid and read like crazy. I don’t really know what was so addicting.

There is a part where she is traveling from Texas to Arizona and the page of a book blows by. She picks it up and reads it and then thinks to herself, “Accustomed is what the scarlet velvet woman was. She was accustomed to her sorrows it said, as she had been accustomed to great riches and fine food. We are accustomed to Indian wars and sorrows and traveling fast and folks dying.” It made me wonder what I am accustomed to. What are you accustomed to?

She also reflects on herself.

“At least I know there are other women around me. I think my Mama and Savannah must be special people in the Lord’s eyes, as they have gone about doing generous and loving things without even a second thought. For me it seems like the only thing that come natural is aggravation and hard work.

“Sometimes I feel like a tree on a hill, at the place where all the wind blows and the hail hits the hardest. All the people I love are down the side aways, sheltered under a great rock, and I am out of the fold, standing alone in the sun and snow. I feel like I am not part of the rest somehow, although they welcome me and are kind. I see my family as they sit together and it is like they have a certain way between them that is beyond me. I wonder if other folks ever feel included yet alone.”

I remember when I first put this feeling to words. I was in college and felt completely surrounded by people and yet completely alone. I still feel this way, do you ever feel like this?

– waking up to a pink morning sky –
– Whole Wheat Bisquits –
– throwing a youth activity together in 10 minutes and having it be spectacular –
– these is my words–
– This chair and also this one –

– funny little boy with a big hat –
– meeting honest people –
– getting a new bra with a whole lot of oomph –
– being taken care of –
– when the boy eats something new –

We went to Chili’s last night, home of we make sure everything tastes like Vienna Sausage. I had the lettuce wraps, Vienna Sausages with peanut sauce. My lettuce was wilted and brown. I tore off the icky parts. I was going to just ignore it. He told the waiter and they gave us half off of my meal.

I hope things keep changing for the better.

When are you going to stand up for anything? Anything! Take a stand. Say something.

If someone broke in, who would be the one to protect?

Expecting actions, only getting meaningless words.

– gentry running to me to hug my leg –
– watching him fly through the house like Superman –
– Take 5 ice cream –
– Get Ripped 1000 Workout DVD–
– playing in the snow –

– rosy cheeks –
– so many left overs there is no need to cook –
– hidden kisses in the closet –
– dinner at friends comfy condo –
– this fairy tale studio –

I am going to start posts about things that I love. I got the idea from here, she does it every week. And on a day when lots of little things are bugging me, I want to change my attitude. So here goes.