.::still blinking::.

if your love is conditional, i do not want it.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

your small breasts
Originally uploaded by Linzie Hunter

The rumors are true.

The change I asked for has happened.

I really feel like breathing and dancing again.

I just heard some gossip that makes me want to dance. Not unlike this. Especially the high kicking fun of the cotton eye joe.

And suddenly it feels like I have entered a whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew…

Hello, my name is Makayla and I have an internet addiction.

The internet has been down since Sunday night, it is now Tuesday afternoon. I knew I liked the internet and all. But when I called customer service yesterday and they told me it would be fixed tomorrow, my anxiety almost turned me into an embryonic fetal position twitching on the floor.

And suddenly, all I had to think about was how unfortunate I am.

Today, I see that Britney is still far worse then me.

I am feeling better.

It amazes me the way people can read me. My physical therapist, who I have been seeing (not dating) twice a week has commented that I seem sad. My hairdresser/friend has told me that she looks at me and can see that I am in agony. jj has asked why I am so quiet.

I had no idea I was so transparent. I am struggling. It is nothing anyone has done and there is nothing anyone can do. It has to do with me and trust and faith. Those beasts.

My hairdresser has called me three times this week to make sure that I am ok. I am, and I know what I need to do. It scares me. The growing part. The learning part. The leap of faith part.

When do I stop trusting in myself and take a step into the big picture.

Soon.

And here we find my USU Design bedfellows.

They do amazing work and I am totally in awe of all the things they are creating. It is fun to find people from my past.

One of them actually lives here in Daybreak with me, different houses same neighborhood. I have been curious about it for a while, thinking I may have seen him at events and at my church. He is here and I yelled at him (in my quiet and demur way) the other day as he ran past for the Daybreak 5K.

plain yogurt and honey for sweetness. handful of uncooked oatmeal. chopped banana. chopped green apple. dried cranberries. currents. sliced almonds. Mix all together and eat. This is a divine breakfast.