.::still blinking::.

All members of my household have been potty trained for quite some time now. I would say months. Which really is an accomplishment, being I really didn’t want to put any time or effort into it and stress myself out. Which would result in my son hating me, running away, shooting up heroine, and writing tell all books about his ordeal in my house. Who’s to say that won’t happen anyway.

Back to the potty training. When you are male, there are two ways to use the rest room. Options. Choices. I taught him to sit and go for all purposes. But he eventually realized that dad stands up and he wants to too. So when he announces he needs to go potty, he also adds insightfully, “I will sit.” Or, “I will stand, like dad.” And that is where the dread sets in.

Now, I try to help him. I have put chips in the toilet to aim at. I really don’t understand how this is not working. How can things be pointed down and be shooting up three feet in the air. Or hitting the back wall of the bathroom. Or only peeing in the left side corner, while aiming at the toilet. Basically coating all objects around and behind the toilet.

Also, there are about seventeen false stops. “I am done.” Back away from the toilet. Resume peeing on floor. Stop. Shoot at the base of the toilet once more. Stop. Turn around. Hit mom in the leg. Stop. Turn around to get some on the wall by the towels or the door. Or…

You get the idea. I am really glad to be potty trained, however, this standing and peeing. It has to go.