.::still blinking::.

This is the first book, I just finished the second.

The first is about the rough lives of early settlers in the United States. This book is also, but it is from a grown womans view. I love the way she speaks of love for her children.

“‘Mother!’ April said. She took the little girls from me and set them back on the floor, then leaned onto my lap and put her cheek against mine. It was such an odd thing for her to do. How could I explain to a beautiful lady in a silk dress that when I picked up her baby girl, I felt that lady’s long-ago chubby shape in in my arms, smelled her sunshine-touched hair? That years and years of tiny memories flitted past my her like a flock of birds spinning on invisible air? It was the smell of the little girls, slightly wet, somewhat soapy, the smell of porridge supper, and the taste of kissed-away tears. Here in my arms were the best parts of life, going on blooming like a strong tree.”

I feel like this. When I look at Gentry, I wonder where he came from. I know right now I am his world and I love him fiercely, but he will not always be mine. I am bewildered by where he came from. I know that he grew in me, but I can barely remember it. The pictures seem like a different time and person. In rare moments though I remember. I remember the smell of him. The way his tiny hand grabbed mine. The way he cuddled with me for hours as I fed him. In rare moments I remember, and he will always be my baby.

This book is about her struggle to live in the Arizona Territory at the turn of the century. She is a strong, hard working woman, and I want to be her. At the end of the day when I still have a million things to do, I remember her, Sarah. She worked so hard and she talked about how exhausted she was. There were times of rest, and times when all they did from sun up to sun down was excruciating hard work. She was strong. I want to be strong like her.