Dr. Laura
I called Dr. Laura today because I needed my nose rubbed in my @$#*. I had not listened in several years. I don’t think that I am going to start now.
She said that I probably whine to my husband and baby all the time about my mom, which is not true. I rarely bring her up unless something new has come up. I don’t really talk about what is going on with her to anyone. I just am trying to distance myself.
I called the Dr. to see if I should just cut her out of my life completely. She said, “no.” Just pull away. And then just basically hung up on me. She did not listen to my circumstances, or what my mom had done. I guess I was stupid to call a phone phycologist anyway. They have to fit you into 5 minute or less increments.
jj and I both agree, pulling away is going to best for everyone. The less she is in my life, the less there will be to whine about.
I guess we all realize how limited our parents are. Or we get married and our spouse fills us in. That is the blessing that I have bestowed on jj. He only tells me about my parents when I ask him too. And obviously we all know my dad is not a good example.
Lots of people have crappy parents and somehow we all end up being crappy parents to our children. Even though we have the best intentions.
I cannot say that my childhood was bad. What I can say is that waking up from my childhood haze of perfect parents is a hard pill to swallow. Luckily, I am getting it in two smaller doses. I realized my dad was crappy years ago, I am just not realizing my mom is not the best. I had years to get used to the __________ of my dad. Now I am stairing at this dose of $#*@ my mom is giving me, I know I am going to have to swallow it soon. But I also know that once I accept it, a huge burden will be lifted.
I hope that Gentry never feels this way about me.
I am giving myself until 3:00pm to cry about this. After that I am done crying over this. There is no point.