.::still blinking::.

I had a great big list of things to do today, including visit Ross (the store, not a relative or friend) that just opened up near us. So exciting. Something that was not on the list, pruning the bushes in the yard. But the kitchen floor was just mopped and I could not get around to get other things done, so Gentry and I headed outside for just a few minutes to do a little yard work and diggin’.

The pruning went very well, so well in fact that I cut off the tip of my left thumb. I did not really see it happen. I just put it in my mouth and ran to find jj. I told him I had hurt myself and did not want to see it. He made me put it under running water and looked at it. It is not bad. I don’t need stitches, but I think that I am definitely going to miss the tip of my finger. I don’t think that it will grow back normally, I will always have a little indention. Fortunately, you don’t need your left thumb to type.

jj took over the house work for me and finished making a lovely St. Patty’s Day feast. We had corned beef and fried cabbage which is strangely like candy, and whole wheat biscuits. Besides being my nurse he turned into my personal chef, what a great guy.

While he was making dinner and I was supervising, Gentry was running around looking through a view finder and ran into a wall. He is going to get a black eye. This one is not from us, I would just threaten it with my mind powers. When we put him to bed tonight he had major purple and blue bumps around his eye socket. In the morning he will probably be completely black and blue. I feel so bad. He did not really care though, so we went outside and he ran around like a crazy guy.

We will have to survey the damage in the morning, on both of us.

I keep thinking of things that I am going to have trouble doing. Changing diapers. Flossing. Unbuttoning my pants, I already had to have jj do that for me. I am sure he minded terribly. I may have to wear stretchy pants for several days in a row now.

:: this print :: jj for getting me the print :: this and this and this and this etsy shop ::

:: finding old jeans that I still fit into, the really comfy ones with the holes in them :: wearing the old jeans, they are cool again ::

:: having a little warm hand wrapped around my finger as I walk around Gateway ::

:: the guide by borne :: for once in my life I see pure love staring right back at me ::

:: true affection by the blow ::

Things move pretty quickly around here as you can see. I am working on having a better attitude about my little two year old. A friend gave me tons of good advice, I am so thankful.

Today we went for a walk around the neighborhood. We threw rocks off this bridge and dug in the dirt.
I love were I live. It is so beautiful. There were little purple flowers abloom on our walk, I picked a few for Gentry. I could smell them all around us and feel the way they made the air around them just a little bit warmer. While we were looking for rocks to throw he found a little one that was shaped like a heart. I could not throw it, I have it in my pocket.

After the fiasco yesterday at church which entailed several time outs, his nursery teachers coming to find me to let me know he was hitting and stealing toys and she would not let him back in class unless he could be nice, and just plain screaming fits; who would have thought that I would already be tired of him at 9:00 this morning.

That’s right my angel child is driving me nuts. It is going to be a glorious day, I can feel it.

For breakfast he wanted a bowl of oatmeal. But not really. A bowl of yogurt. But not really. A small bowl of cheerios (I was starting to catch on and just gave him a little). But not really. An apple. But not really. After I finished my breakfast and proceeded to dispose of his, I let him know that he is not getting any food until lunch. All he can have is water. Because that is semi-free and I don’t really have a problem throwing glasses of that away. I guess what he really wanted was to see me throw food away, he wanted breakfast and a show, with out the breakfast.

And now he is sitting behind me hitting me with his vacuum and telling me I need to go exercise. Go get me a switch boy, I need to exercise my right to beat you.

The view from my bedroom window this morning.

We played with play dough. He made a spider.

I made a snake.

Considering what needs to be build next and if mom is getting in the way.

Elephant.

I don’t think that I could possibly let you know how completely frustrated I am with that child. The shapoopie. After the 407th time out today, I am about to loose it. He does not care.

For a snack after his nap today, I got a yoplait cup of yogurt. “Put it in a yeddow cup.” I did. “Not a big spoon, an orange spoon.” Yes your majesty. “Sit down.” Of course, where else in the world would I be but sitting across from you watching you smear yogurt all over yourself. I get the first bite ready to enter his wailing and gnashing little mouth. “I’m done.” He did not want yogurt at all. But he especially did not want it sitting next to him if I had not performed several acts of servitude first.

So I get him down, we had two more time outs, and I ask him if he wants to help me vacuum. He does, and he goes to get his vacuum. I almost finish vacuuming the stairs when I have had enough of his crying and whaling over the vacuum. I have to leave. I have barricaded myself in the office and I don’t know if I am ever going to come out. I may just go out the window, jump off the patio and run away.

I was talking to a friend yesterday and it sounds to me like it just gets worse as your kids age. I will forever be Cinderella. And people keep asking me when I am going to have another. The truth is I don’t know if I am ready for the one that I have. It is a challenge everyday.

Also, I don’t like babies that much. If you can believe it, I like the age the Gentry is at right now so much more than when he was a baby. Babies don’t do anything. The reason I have not held your baby is because I have absolutely no desire to. He is cute and I am very glad that you like him. You are darling with him. If I held him and talked to him I would say things like, “Sit up straight!” “Stop drooling!” “Be reasonable!” I just don’t see how a three month old can be any fun. I have held my niece Lilly maybe 4-5 times. Not much. She is not one yet. When she comes to the age to be chased and played with I am sure that I will be doing it all day. I like that so much more.

Isn’t raising a child, like babysitting gone terribly wrong? When are his parents going to come pick him up? I need a break.

There are explicatives included in this blog entry.

Dear mothers who attend Daybreak playgroup,

No, let me start again.

Dear Mother of Mattie-

Your son is the devil. I guess you think that I am going to fall for the same disillusionment that you are under if you call him some cute derivative of his actual name. If that were the case you would be calling him shitty or son of a harlot-ie. I am not falling for it. Your complete lack of ability to watch your son is astonishing. I have watched him climb atop the ballerina bars and jump off. He is four. I guess you figure when he falls and breaks his arm you can sue the community center for letting you in and for carelessly assuming you are a responsible adult.

However, next time your son walks over and even pretends to hit my son I am going to come unglued. My son, although a little high strung, is nothing compared to the raving hyena your son is. I am tired of him taking my sons toys away, coming over to hit a ball out of his hands and just plain acting rabid. I think next week I am going to sit by you and let you know that I am going to be disciplining your son each and every time he comes near mine.

Wanna see a mama bear in action? Just try me. I am not that nice and I am not loyal to those who do not raise their children. Why even have them if you were not going to be paying any attention to them at all? Did you know that the play group is not about mass ignorance of your kids? It is about watching your kids and their interactions with others. It is about sharing and learning to play and not hitting and being nice. But why am I telling you this? You are about as useful as a squashed bug.

Unglued. I am coming unglued. I will be glad when the sun comes out and I can watch kids beat my boy at the splash pool. I will be just as nice and understanding there. And if your child drowns because you cannot take the time to watch him, that is your deal, not mine.

Love,
Makayla

{Update: Turns out jj served his mission for the LDS Church with this exact same girl. She was a space cadet then as well.}

Annie had such a touching post today.

Wanna hear my thoughts today. This is why I am not asked to babysit much, I would not ask myself to babysit either.

We went to the post office today. I sell stuff on ebay. I have gotten rid of a few nick nacks and lots of scrap booking crap. I mean crap when I say it. I HATE scrap booking, but it seems to be the Utah National Past time, that and crystal meth. About a year ago I was roped into signing up for a year membership with a local stamping company. It was kind of fun, in the remotest kind of way, and extremely expensive. I have not made up when I spent on the scrapbook crap. But I am nearly rid of it. If I want to make a card, from now on I will be making them on the computer, which I far prefer. I make cute cards.

Gentry and I went to the post office today to send my unwanted stuff to all regions of our country tis of thee. As soon as we walked in the door Gentry walked off and stood by the packaging while I stood in the line to talk to the postal workers. He stood just behind a kiosk and watched me and would not come when I called. I finally went over there and grabbed him and I seriously had to restrain myself from pinching him with my crab pincers. It really crossed my mind. Stop it, I told myself and the thought left my mind. And then returned in the thought of how ’bout a pinch in the bottom, just to show him who is boss. That is me the boss with the white hot pincers. I mean it when I say get over here.

As we were standing in line he turned into the child made of jello. I now had a little jello turd sliding down the side of me. To say I was embarrassed is an understatement. I would pull him back up the side of me and scold him to which his reply would be, “Oh yeah! I am the jello turd and I mean business. See, I am down to your knee again and if you would just let go of my shirt I would be half way across the room. As it is I am wasting a lot of energy running dangling from your arm in mid-air like an excited puppy.”

When we finally made our way to the front desk, the lady offered him a sucker. That was really nice of her. However, couldn’t she see the remains of goldfish and juice on me and him. I mean honestly, how much more hopped up are we trying to get the kid. Just one more sucker wouldn’t hurt right? Maybe not him, but I am sure after about 27 licks he would have chucked it right into the back of my head and it would have been entangled in my hair. If I was now restraining my white hot angry pincers, I don’t know if I could have handled it any longer. I am sure my happy disposition would have been gone for the day as well as the appendages of my child.

Every day I try to do two activities with Gentry. Don’t be impressed. I said try, most of the time they are not this impressive. We usually pull out the board games and play with the pieces or I print out pictures off the web of Curious George and we color them.

This day we painted, it is washable paint. His favorite colors are orange and yellow. He gets to use the bottle of paint and I use the lid. When the paint from the lid is gone I don’t get anymore. He is not great at sharing yet. We are working on it.

What he is great at is hiding things. IN HIS NOSE! Guess what I found there today. A piece of popcorn. I knew it was this because I smelled it. I had to, it was orange and I could not figure out what it was. It must have been a fresh piece or that lovely buttery smell would have been gone. It was also covered in nose slime. Any dry heaving?

Later I cut pictures from a magazine and he tapped them to the wall in my bed room. A couple of weeks later the activity was to pull all the pictures off of the wall. He liked both activities. Also, in the morning when he would wake up he would come into my room and talk about what all these pictures were. Those are Fruity Pebbles Flintstones on the bottom.

Digging chewed-up, soggy Cheetos out of nooks and crannies your son has spit them into.