.::still blinking::.

The baby that lives at my house, the one that screams at me all day long, refuses to eat anything that resembles actual food.

Cheetos, not a problem. Juice, bring it on woman. Fruit snack, load my plate up lady. Alfredo and noodles, not a chance fat a**. Get it out of my sight and just because you ate some I am going to cry and blubber the rest of the evening. I, the man child, have a point to prove. Because obviously you are a little dense woman, and do not understand that in my life syllabus I outlined the three foods that I will eat. So dear lady, you had best not try to feed me anything else ever again or I will be forced to hit you with my spoon repeatedly.

Love,
Gentry
(You know who is in charge here).

I do graphic design for Herriman City. Not a lot, just for a few summer events. I did the program for the Miss Herriman Scholarship Pageant, remember there is a scholarship in there.

Doing this program every year I am on the phone for a few hours discussing every word and semi-colon with the pageant directors. They take their job very seriously. I take my job very seriously also, I do not take their job seriously though. I can portray class and style, but for some reason I don’t think that pageants are the epitome for grace and elegance. The pageant directors will ask my opinions about things and I will make some joke about something, and they will not laugh. Then I remember that they take this stuff very seriously. They take their work to heart and they feel that they are helping raise the next mega starlets of the days to come. I guess I just don’t see it like that. I do see it as a fun night to watch young girls make fools of themselves, and I am always up for that.

There was the one girl who came out and you knew that she thought she was going to win. She was slinky and bouncy and I immediately wanted to hit her. For her amazing talent she portrayed her love for the last whatever years of cheerleading by doing a routine that she had choreographed. If I was a pre-pubescent boy, I am sure that I would have loved it. But I could hardly watch. And her evening dress looked like something a cheap Mexican prostitute would wear. Am I going to be sued for slander?

There was another girl who may have been good if she would have stopped jerking around stage like a robot with one of its spark plugs missing. Belly dancing is supposed to be graceful. Do not do it like Eurkel from Family Matters.

I was impressed by two girls. They had a quiet elegance about them. The were unobtrusive. They were girls that actually portrayed class and beauty. I am glad they won.

I was also impressed with the past Miss Herriman. She lost the pageant two times before she won it. I have seen her progress and grow into a very smart and intelligent woman. She started as a shy girl with no courage or faith in herself. She has turned into a woman with grace and elegance and I would not be surprised if she ends up doing great things.

I am not a believer in pageants. But this girl came out of her cocoon and decided to become someone beautiful. I think we all have that ability. It just took being paraded about for this girl to find herself.

He started crying today while I was doing the dishes. I looked over to find him alone on a deserted island with no way to get off.

So I turned the stool over and it immediately became a force to be reckoned with.

I am boycotting Wal-mart. For the past like 5 years I have been going there every week faithfully. But I have had enough.

Last week I went to the Neighborhood Wal-Mart, as if it being a small version makes it any more palatable. I was standing in the check out line, waiting my turn. When a checker from the next lane over came and butted in front of me so that she could discuss when my checker got off of work and what her husband was doing that day. I sat and listened and finally lost my patience. Who does she think that she is? Did she not see me standing there with my kid and groceries? Stop wasting my time lady. So I said, “Excuse me.” And she looked at me like, Who are you? and Why do YOU think that you can interrupt our conversation? The lady pulled her hair up into a fake pony tail and let it drop and then walked away. Rude.

Today, I was again at my local neighborhood walmart and went to the self-checkout lane so that I would not have to deal with stupid lady and her side kick stupid ponytail. I rang all my stuff up and and then decided that I did not want one of the things that I had gotten. So I did the remove it from my list thing. But the machine would not let me continue with anything and kept saying “Please wait for assistance”. A red light started blinking, so I figured that help was on the way. I stood there for a few minutes until I was finally fuming and went and yelled at the customer service people. They walked over fixed my problem and walked away. They did not say they were sorry, they did not even take the thing that I had decided that I did not want. I was made. So I left my Bertolli Frozen dinner on top of the cash register. It will probably stay there until it molds and turns itself into compost and just disappers.

So I am tired of the lack of customer service and I am not going their any longer. I like Target way better anyway. I can get groceries at Macy’s for cheaper than at Wal-mart, I just need to pay attention to the ad they send out weekly. But they really do have good deals and they are not open on Sunday, I will support businesses that do that. And they always give G a balloon and smarties. I love that they care about the customer. When it comes time to renew my Sam’s Club membership, I am not going to do it. I am going to go to Costco. They may cost more in membership fees, but they take American Express. I love my American Express. I have one for business and one for personal. I get points for everything that I buy. So eventually I will be able to go places with all the points that I build up for buying stuff. That is a dream come true.

Also, have you seen “Supersize Me”. EEEEWWWWWWW! It is so gross and you know that Wal-mart plays a huge part in that. They do not sell actual beef, they sell soy with brown food coloring and ground up plastic in it. They sell chicken that has been given growth hormones so that they have abnormally large breasts like the Dolly Parton of chicken. That is what you are buying at Wal-mart. Quality, medically enhanced, impervious to radiation, chicken.