.::still blinking::.

I am a bit busy. Not your average busy. More like the busy where you don’t have time to use the bathroom. And if you even threaten to use the bathroom you know your son is going to go find a pen and start coloring on the wall just out of your reach.

jj went on a brief visit to San Francisco today. He showed me how he is going to use BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) to get around. We have lovingly named it “The Rainbow Rail.”

I have plans everynight this week, we are going to Logan this weekend. On Monday I am watching a little boy named Liam. I hope he knows not to play by the stairs. I have taught Gentry this and he does not do it. He just pivots like a little beatle that has decided to go down the stairs backwards. Not all children are as bright as pivoting beatles.

Tuesday through Saturday jj will be in Florida. I am not going to jj’s parents house. I am going to be a big adult and stick it out here alone. Well, alone with a small lunatic that only has crackers on his mind. Most people would not consider that busy for me, but being at home alone with a small and demanding one with no break in sight is a bit daunting.

I hope that I don’t turn into a small pivoting beatle and do somethings that I regret.

I stole from the library. I did not mean to. I realized today that one of the books that I took from the library is still on my hold list and not on my checked out list. Hmm. Who knew it was so easy to steal from the public library?
Who, me?
Yes, you?
Couldn’t be, then who?

I hope they don’t kick me in the butt and pay a huge fine. Mostly I fear the kick in the butt.

Today we bought Gentry a new bike. It is for Easter, I like to think ahead. So we brought it home and let him play with it and when he goes to bed we will put it in the basement and pretend there is not a bike here until Easter.

He was so excited about his new bike, *he would run it into walls and then stand there and dance. He would then back up and proceed with the same course of action. After about three times of this he would stop playing with the bike and then spin around in circles until he was loopy and fall down. And then repeat from *.

I love the way he gets excited about everything.

jj’s mom brought down a little plastic bear. It is little like the size of your palm. Gentry has been hauling it around with him all day. Like it is his new side kick. We now have at our house grumpy bear, and little bear.

That child of mine hates loud sounds. (By the way I skipped church today and got a well deserved nap.)

He will be in the middle of a deep rem cycle and hear the ice cream man coming with his tangy music about two miles away and wake up. Luckily he does not know that they ice cream man bears treasures of pushpops and fudgecicles. But when the man comes even near our house the baby is up.

I guess that I should have been aware that this would happen. When I was pregnant with the wee one he was also jumpy about loud sounds. I had gas while I was pregnant. Just like I have it about every other day. But this was the kind that you get in an public bathroom that when you sit down to do your business echoes from the stall and you would rather die than continue serenading those around you. I had that kind of gas while pregnant. One time I farted in the toilet which is like a little echo chamber for those who are upside down inside of you. This kid was so scared of it he about clawed his way out my throat. He jumped and flailed and really surprised me. The first time this happened I thought what a strange coincidence, I fart and baby jumps. The second time it all came together.

The baby that lives at my house is allergic to bananas.

I really don’t want him to be, but I have to give them up and not give them to him anymore. He gets a really bad rash around his mouth. But he loves them. So once in a while I give them to him hoping that the allergy has gone away.

Being the brilliant mother that I am, I thought that I would try two bananas. Can we spell smart? S-M-R-T. I gave them to him when Oprah was on and he was fine up until we started getting him ready for bed and he started to turn pink. I went to the Relief Society thing and then came home and around midnight he woke up crying hard. So jj went to get him a bottle, and I was holding him in bed. In the dark I noticed that his face was bumpy.

Oh, my heck I thought. I could kill this child, out of sheer stupidity. Not because I want to, or have been thinking about it. I haven’t. But out of naivete, and inexperience. So we will not be giving the child anymore bananas, unless they are cooked. Like in banana bread (that is what we call a run-on). We will see how that goes, in a while, in a long while. The kid has been swollen for a day and has really dry face that are leading to dry little scabs. Like when your hands don’t get enough moisture and crack and burn.

I am sorry kid. I will do better.

You thought you were safe!

I did not set this up.

Last night before dinner we were about to say the prayer, and I said to Gentry, “Fold your arms.”

He obediently closed and covered his eyes with his hands. That what I would like to do too when I am called on to pray.

The selfishness of some people astounds me. I can pretty much attend any event at anytime of the day. Not everyone has this luxury.

There are people in everyones life who have loved you your entire life, people that have helped raised you, people that were excited for you before you were a person to be excited for. It seems rude to say to these people I don’t care if you want to share in this day with me, because I don’t want to share it with you.

And you can go on pretending that no one matters to you, but one day you will see what all this recklessness and carelessness has brought you. So keep on playing the calm girl that does not care. Because I am through with this selfish game that you play.